4% Small Curd
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the "mathboxers" journal:[<< Previous 20 entries]
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10:35 am
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New Cat - yay!
So now my cat Nina won't be bored all day. Not that I'm quite sure that cats can be bored. Hungry? Yes, they certainly seem to be capable of hunger. But boredom seems to be the state of 'I can't think of anything interesting to do'. So if cats can be bored, then not only can they think abstractly, but also find interest in activities.
But she looked SO BORED some days.
Meh, anyhoo, I gots me a brand new kitten named.......any ideas?
What's greek or latin for 'any ideas'?
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08:23 pm
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eh....maybe not
After some cottage cheese and a little Star Trek, I'm re-thinking this angry thing. I need to be more like Lavar Burton. He's always smiling and having a good time. I never saw that movie about slavery he was in(The Color of Purple or something?), but I'm sure he was really happy and cool in that. Yeah...I think I'm on to something.
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07:47 pm
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I'm an angry sonofabitch
Not right now, mind you - I'm pretty psyched up about my furniture finally arriving tomorrow. But generally, I've come to realize that I pretty much hate everyone.
Except you - you're my favorite person in the whole wide world.
Everyone else though, I'm of the opinion that they're 90% idiot and 10% asshole. And people who tell me I should mellow out and enjoy my fellow man? They get an extra 10% asshole on their record.
Anyhoo, I'm wondering just where I went so damned wrong. I was a sweet little boy in elementary school, all minding my P's and Q's. I can't really remember high school (except of course my mad skillz and Dungeons and Dragons), but by grad school I was just a little ball of rage. Which is probably why my shoulders are sore right now. Fuck.
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05:07 pm
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no more chefs?
Well, now that 2manychefs is leaving LJ, I have the perfect excuse to get back into the game. Yep, I'll be talking all kinds of interesting crap that'll be sure to boggle your mind.
Like how goddamned lazy I am. You know, I've been drinking shitty coffee for a month now. I went to the store and bought some 8 o'clock beans, and've been suffering ever since. Even worse, I use a french press, so it's obvious that I care enough to be using halfway decent beans.
But I'm a lazy jackass.
Just two miles down the road there's a little coffee shop with a cute owner that sells great beans. They're all fair-exchangey, and not at all burnt to a crisp.
So why haven't I gone? Why don't I just dump the crap in my kitchen and take 5 minutes out of my day? Why don't I stop on the way home?
Well, today it's because it's cloudy outside. And I wanna make pizza. My cat probably misses me. And I've taken so much damned time thinking about something to put on this fucking blog that I just wanna go home, get hammered, and watch the games (doubleheader - woo hoo!).
And yes, I'll be regretting the decision tomorrow morning when I pour hot poo into my mug.
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10:54 am
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My Eyes are having Fun
I just got contacts so that I can do stuff like racquetball and porn movies. Unfortunately, my eyes aren't really playing along, so I'm finding it pretty damned fuzzy right now (thus any spelling mistakes).
See, normal eyes would be like 'hey, I'm nearsighted, so you can't see far', or vice versa. But no, not my eyes. Mine insist and switching it up at irregular intervals. First I'm nearsighted, then 24 seconds later it's farsightedness for me. Then near, then both....neither for a while, and so on. Crap. Fortunately, porn stars don't need stellar vision.
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10:26 pm
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Brought to you by the letter 'F'
When one of my friends, mfm, posted the other day, I couldn't help but read his middle name as 'Fucking'. Not in a bad way, but more in a bad ass way. Take my name: it'd sound so much cooler if it was Ryan Fucking Kohl. It just flows, and I think it fits most names. Well, guy's names anyhoo.
So I've figured out what I'm going to name my son. I already decided long long ago to name him Brick. I think 'Brick Kohl' has a really great ring to it. Actually, it's less of a ring than a big f'n thump. I was going to name him 'Brick Red Kohl', since it's not only a cool color, but it really sounds awesome. But now I think I want his middle name to start with F.
So, my first born son's name is going to be Brick Fucking Kohl - BFK. I come from a Catholic family, so he'll get a second middle name when he's 12, at which time I'll pretty much force him to honor St. Red. Wouldn't you want to be named Brick Fucking Red Kohl?
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07:41 am
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Woot
A month or two ago, I bought some weights and a bench, thinking that my basement really needed something to bring it all together. It did, and I'm pretty damned happy.
Surprisingly, I've actually used that stuff beyond its feng shui design. I've even found a website (http://www.exrx.net/Lists/WorkoutMenu.html) that gives you all kinds of relevant info. However, I've had to constantly fight the urge to puff out my chest and say 'grrr, I needs me more weights cuz I am strong'. And I resisted because, in truth, the weights I had were just fine and dandy.
Well, woots for me, because I'm finally in genuine need of more weights. I can now walk in to Sports Authority with both my chest puffed out and my head held high. So like I said: yay.
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08:29 am
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An issue of National Importance
My computer doesn't get as many viruses as it used to. Some people would say that's because systems have gotten better over the years, but I think it's something else - video games.
Most haxxorz are geeks (they probably played street hockey and dungeons and dragons growing up), and thus can't resist a great video game. I imagine that, when they have to decide between raiding the Dungeon of Jehosephet with his online dwarven persona or writing a virus, our geek will choose the former every single time.
As such, I think it's a matter of national security that we encourage kick-ass video games that appeal to the former dungeon master. The better our games, the fewer viruses we'll have to content with.
I encourage you to write your congressman, asking them to fund World of Warcraft research.
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08:15 pm
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Out of retirement
Sure has been a while, but this new house sure likes to eat up my time. It occurred to me earlier that a new house is sometimes like a second hobby, but it can feel like a second job!
Anyhoo, I have some pics on my webpage: http://buffalo.edu/~ryankohl . Click on the 'My New House' link on the right and view away.
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11:22 am
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Nothing interesting happens to me anymore
But that doesn't mean nothing interesting ever happens! Here's an email my friend and co-worker wrote this morning:
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Let me start off by saying that I was wrong to flip off the yellow Hummer driving the other way down Boston Street in Baltimore.
The driver empathized with me. He understood that I was worried about the amount of oil that it consumes, in a time when Americans should be trying to conserve energy. He told me that it ran on biodiesel.
He was so concerned that I might continue in my misapprehension of him that, to make sure he got a chance to talk to me, he pulled a U-turn on a train track, drove up behind me, passed me on the left and forced his way in front of me, pulled over and flipped me off and gestured for me to pull over, got back behind me when I drove past, followed me as I turned right onto a narrower uphill street, passed me and forced in front of me again, stopped in front of me this time, got out and came back and said he would knock the fuck out of me, and watched as his Terrorist Hunting Permit sticker rolled backwards into my front bumper because he hadn't put the parking brake on.
So, East Coast liberals, be careful with that finger! The man you're flipping off might just be a truer-blue American than you. Also he has a gun.
--
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11:18 am
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The Surprising Coolness of Sanrio
Isn't it strange how incredibly awesome Hello Kitty is? You never think of it as such, and easily toss the idea aside. But when you actually go to sanrio.com, it's all visual coffee. Your mind perks up, you think of flowers and rainbows, and suddenly you're all okay with the world.
Next time we're in a war with Japan, I advocate early surrender.
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01:35 pm
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Inactivity
It's been suggested that my blog's been inactive lately. Well, it's true that I haven't been telling the world about all the cool things that I've done lately, so here it goes.
This morning - I got this new digital camera a few days ago, and my cat was all 'hey, I'm so cute you should take a picture of me'. So I'm like 'hell yeah, I'll take a picture of you!' But then the cat was like 'I'm not gonna look at the camera cuz I wanna make you mad.' Well, I -was- mad, so I spent the next hour taking pictures of her, just to teach her a lesson. That's why I was late to work.
A few minutes ago - I needed some fuggin' coffee, so I went to the machine and there was only a little left. But when I tasted it is was cold! Goddamn I hate it when I drink yesterday's coffee. It happens a lot, strangely enough. Anyway, I made more coffee, but I forgot to measure how much I put in. So I just added more, to make sure it wasn't too w34k. Then I poured water in, but forgot to measure that too. So I had to be scientific and watch how much coffee came out, and added more water like a pro.
Holy shit I rock.
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01:55 pm
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Ex-girlfriends are not a good idea
I'm sure you're thinking they are. You think
"hey, things really didn't get full closure. Maybe just a little more work and everything would'a been peachy! Hell, I'll just pull out that marriage application right here..."
But it's not a good idea. You broke things off for a reason - she's crazy. She was crazy then, she's crazy now, and she'll grow up to be that crazy cat lady. And you don't want to be tapping the crazy cat lady, do you?
So after a short departure from common sense, I'm back on the singles train to kleenex-ville.
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01:49 pm
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Homeowner!
I got me my house, baby!
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09:17 am
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What the fuck
Did you know that there aren't any women ski jumpers in the Olympics? It looks like the only reason is that a bunch of assholes decided it's too dangerous for the 'ladies':
http://tammybruce.com/archives/2006/02/women_ski_jumpe.php
If you find this as mind-numbingly stupid as I do, the site I linked to has some ideas to help.
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04:52 pm
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Palmer's going down
It's been a long day, and I've had very little coffee. Seems we've been drinking drain water since we moved in, so we're flushing the system, which means no f'n coffee 'til tomorrow.
Thus, to keep me awake I think I ought to declare livejournal-war on![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) hattrickflyer. The only problem is that I've no idea how to blog-fight. Do I spam him? Call him bad things? Maybe I should make fun on rampant dog-shagging?
I think this war's off to quite a civil start, though. He just has to concede that I'm not a jackass or that he is - I'm giving the enemy choices. Does that make me a good person? Probably, but I'll leave that to history to decide.
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01:11 pm
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Slave Labor
If any of y'all wants to help me move to my new house (all of two miles from my current place), it's going down next weekend (Feb 25 & 26). Alexa and Jeremy are already coming, so if you want to put in a few hours of work and then drink yourself silly, let me know.
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11:10 am
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Love
My last post was kind of a downer, so I just wanted to let everyone in the whole wide world how much I love each and every single one of you. Every single person in the world, including you, is motherfucking great. Honestly, you're all excellent drivers, and never swerve in the middle of the goddamned road for kicks. Nor do you give me nasty looks when I'm brushing the snow off my car. I'm going to go shoot up in your honor, you wonderful thing you.
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10:12 am
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Rant
Like many people, I really detest public stupidity. I've no problem with people acting like schumcks for a laugh - the act itself may be dumb, but the reasons for doing it ain't stupid. No, the stupidity I hate is when people do things that are not only ill-thought out, but also in my face.
Take political discussion, be it on tv, radio, or at the workplace. It looks like there's a lot of people who writhe around in tired arguments like pigs in shit. They're oh so happy to repeat this drivel to each other for no better reasons than comraderie or affirmation.
The other day I'm in a taxi cab in DC with a co-worker. The cabbie waits a few minutes before telling us how much Bush sucks. My co-worker reciprocates, commenting on how much Bush deserves our loathing.
My problem isn't that they hate the prez - fuck, I could care less. What I can't stand, though, are the half-thoughts these monkeys confuse for reasons. He lied about this, people died about that, blah blah fucking hell. Now, maybe the cabbie has an excuse in his bare-bottom literacy, but my co-worker's got an engineering degree from PSU. So what the hell's his excuse?
It's not just left-wing idiocy I detest, of course - I go nuts surrounded by Clinton-haters and borderline racists ("I think we should nuke Mecca as a lesson."). These assholes are just as efficient at producing stupidity.
So what's these fuckers' problem? I think they actually enjoy it. They think politics is fun, and fun for kids of all ages. "Oh, let's bash our current trade relations with China, then go out to Friday's!" Bloody hell, there's something wrong here.
Politics often revolves around decisions that merit serious thought. And most people are quite capable of such thought, they just don't know it's appropriate. Everything in society encourages against taking politics seriously. And the same is true outside the US, at least in the European countries I've spent time in. Every time I go to the bookstore (or library), I can identify the worst collection of books right away - they're always in Political Science or Current Events. Every. Fucking. Time.
So I'd like to hear less political discussion, perhaps as often as I hear scientific discussion. What do you think about the regularity of twin star systems? Oh, you hadn't thought about that much? What do you think we should do about Sudan? Oh, haven't thought about that much, either, eh? Then why do I hear your ideas about the latter so much goddamned more than the former? Have some respect for the difficulty of a problem and either give it some thought or please tell me about which Star Trek movie was the best. It's really only one or the other.
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03:55 pm
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Libraries are bad
I'd just like to point out that, if there were no libraries, none of the hate on my blog would be around. Thus, it seems to be that libraries are all about hate, and I just can't stand hate. In the name of peace, we must destroy the libraries.
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